Tuesday, September 13, 2016

When God Speaks

I had a dream last night. The setting was at some mythical place that looked to me like it came straight out of The Game of Thrones. I had the weirdest companions. Tyrion Lannister, James Reid, and Nadine Lustre. In my dream, we were in a great, big castle (sort of like the Red Keep) and we were trying to escape from it. Several times we tried to get out but we can't. We were being pursued by castle guards but they kept on capturing us. We were trapped. 

One day, Tyrion had the bright idea to sell the treasures we have in our possession (it was two gold necklaces, if I remember correctly) to get us some money so we can smuggle ourselves out of the city. And so that's what he did and we later on found ourselves in a safe community. We were given provisions for free and a comfortable apartment to stay in. James said that the apartment is forever ours -- we can choose to stay there for as long as we want to. It is available for us to use as long as we continue to pay rent. He said the landlord does not have any plans for it in the course of our lifetime.

I narrated my dream to Mon at breakfast this morning. I asked him what my dream could possibly mean. He didn't answer but he asked me the same question. What do I think is the interpretation of my dream?

I thought about it and said, "Well, I was up until 2 in the morning last night and I've been thinking about my faith the whole time. So if I were to interpret my dream, I'd say it has something to do with that." So I started telling him how I interpret it.

THE CASTLE is our world now. Sinful and fallen. A place where immoral acts propagate as though it is the most normal thing in the world.

WE TRIED GETTING OUT OF THE CASTLE BUT WE CAN'T. CASTLE GUARDS KEPT ON CAPTURING US. The castle guards, I think, is sin. For a good number of times, I tried to have a real and lasting relationship with Jesus but I kept on falling back to old habits. I kept on getting lured by things of the world. I can't escape it.

TYRION HAD THE BRIGHT IDEA TO SELL TREASURES TO SMUGGLE US OUT OF THE CITY. Once he sold our treasures, we were successful in escaping the castle. I think this means that I can only be successful in getting out of sin when I set my eyes on Jesus, and not on what is of the world.

WE WERE GIVEN PROVISIONS FOR FREE AND A COMFORTABLE APARTMENT TO STAY IN. I think the provisions and the apartment translates to salvation. Salvation is free. I didn't even have to work for it. It is only by the grace of God that I am saved. It is free. All I have to do is to take it. Claim it. And how do I do that? By making Jesus the Lord and Saviour of my life. By opening my heart to the Truth of what He did for me on the cross. Knowing that He died to redeem me from each and every sin that I have committed. Yes, He did that for me. I AM LOVED THAT MUCH. And you know what? He did that for you too. You are loved that much too.

WE CAN CHOOSE TO STAY IN THE APARTMENT FOREVER IF WE WANT TO. IT IS AVAILABLE FOR US TO USE AS LONG AS WE CONTINUE TO PAY RENT. In my dream, the apartment is located in a peaceful community. Sort of like Amity (Divergent) or Hufflepuff (Harry Potter) where everyone works hard and is kind, patient, fair, and dedicated. I think the rent translates to my relationship with Jesus. To be able to stay in the peaceful zone, I need to get to know Him more and more and build a lasting relationship with Him.

THE LANDLORD DOES NOT HAVE ANY PLANS FOR IT IN THE COURSE OF OUR LIFETIME. How I understood that statement is that salvation cannot and will not be taken away from me. Not ever. When Jesus said on the cross that it is finished, it is indeed finished.  I have been redeemed. For as long as I put my trust in Him and make Him Lord of my life, I am saved. And there is nothing more I can add to it.

So that is how I interpret my dream. I may be right, I may be wrong. Who knows? But like what I told Mon this morning, I acknowledge that it could really just be another one of those bizarre dreams, but since my interpretation of it is so encouraging, then I will choose to believe that my interpretation is true. And nothing can be said to make me believe otherwise.

This is one of those times when I really feel that God is trying to speak to me. And I realized that He just gave me the answer to a question I've been pondering about.

Lately I have been feeling very dissatisfied with a lot of things in my life: my performance in school, motherhood, wifehood.. I even stopped blogging for so many months, only some very short entries here and there, because I feel like I'm juggling too many plates at once and I am just drowning with everything that I have to do. But when I really think about it, I realized that this is another one of those classic examples of me doing everything on my own.

John 15:5 says, "I am the vine, you are the branches. If you remain in Me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing." (NIV)

No wonder I've been running dry. No wonder I feel so drained. I have yet again detached myself from the Vine. So what started as me thinking that I lack rest ended with me realizing that my problem is not on the physical side but on the spiritual aspect of my life. I need to refocus my eyes on God. And I need to make sure that this time will be for good.

Our pastors in church reiterate the importance of belonging to an authentic Christian community. And one of the ways to do that is to be connected to a small group or a discipleship group. I haven't belonged in one in a very long time. And honestly, I think one of the reasons why I keep on backsliding these past years is because I didn't have people in my life to look out for me. I didn't have people in my life that I can be accountable to, which is actually the benefit of having a spiritual family - people looking out for each other.

One of the things I learned in church is that, in our walk with God, we are never meant to do it alone. So here I am, stepping out of my self-made shell, ready to connect and plug myself in an authentic Christian community.

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