Saturday, February 19, 2011

Crazy little thing called love

While people are going gaga over valentines, i'm going gaga over this.

I've never seen a movie that captures the reality of first love as this one. And because of this, I have a story to tell.

I was in high school and he never really became my boyfriend. Well, at least not officially. We both knew how we felt for each other. Or, at least I knew. You see,  I don't really know if he knew, or if he knew, I don't know if he knew how much. Anyway, you get the picture.

Things I can relate to: The initial admiration from afar, the subtle scheming to make papansin, "coincidentally" being where he is, striving to become a better student for him to notice me, the astonishing surprise upon knowing that he knows my name or that he even speaks of me to his friends, the cheesy "friendly" letters, the shy smiles, giving sweet keepsakes, the crazy, kilig moments we spent talking about nothing at all.. the time I was devastated when I found out that we can't be together.

Unlike the movie where the story ended happily, I didn't get my happy ending with him. I didn't even get the chance to tell him how I really, really felt about the whole thing.

It really hurts my pride to admit, but it took me years to get over the heartbreak. And truth be told, in those rare and quiet times when i'm musing over my life, I still thought about him and what could have been. In those early years of heartbreak, I needed closure just like everyone else who had been through an abrupt "breakup".

and her prince had finally come
Several years later, I finally got the closure I needed when I saw how happy he is with his new family. And that's just how it is when you love someone, dba? You're happy when they're happy. 

I don't believe in the saying "first love never dies" because i know that eventually, the love will die. Rather, it's the memories of the first love that will never die. It will forever live on in our hearts. To that one man who once made my heart flutter, thank you for giving me the sweetest memories that i can never forget.

Certain people may not get their happy ending with each other. And that's okay because what is ultimately important is that they end up with their own happy endings. I know I did.  Happy love month everyone! <3

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