Friday, July 22, 2016

My Two Cents Worth

Some people thrive in pressure. Some people don't. Those who thrive in pressure may have a better status in life, may have more expensive belongings, can afford to buy anything they want...and that's okay. But I guess the problem lies on the mindset of both parties. Those people who thrive in pressure could think that everyone should do it to be successful. And could probably look down on those people who don't strive as much. While those people who don't thrive in pressure, who are honestly contented with what they have, fear that they are being looked down upon by the other party. And so, insecurity sets in. And then those who don't thrive in pressure try to better themselves by trying to pressure themselves to have more, just to let those people who thrive in pressure see that they are actually doing something to better their status and have more money.

But you see, I think everyone should just stay true to who they are. Accept themselves for what they are, and accept others for who they are. Be unapologetically us! Not saying that people should live a stagnant life... I just think that everyone should just be happy with themselves. Not put pressure on other people who don't thrive in pressure. And not try so hard to thrive in pressure when all their happiness are being sucked right out of them by doing so.

Blatantly, all people should just stop judging one another and mind their own business. And accept that not everyone is and should be like them.

Sunday, May 29, 2016

Six years today

This post is an old entry in my previous blog. If Mon and I have not married yet, today would've been our sixth year as boyfriend-girlfriend.

Let it be known that Mon and I are engaged... again!

I first told you about our engagement when I "proposed" to Mon last year. Wedding preps have commenced since then but nothing was final until the end of December when we actually decided to move our wedding date up from May 2013 to December 2012... just because we wanted to be together sooner.

May 29, 2012 --- our second year anniversary. I wasn't expecting anything special to happen that day because although I knew that he will still give me a ring, I didn't expect it to happen soon.. and very publicly, if I may add.

I was hoping to receive flowers but what I got was much much more. It was sweet, really. He gave me lots (twelve in total!) of sweet, thoughtful gifts that reminded me of our early days as a couple. Mon made my officemates deliver his gifts at different times throughout the day.

At around 5:40, I saw a text from Mon saying that he was going to be late so I took my time fixing my stuff. When I turned around, there he was on his knees holding a little red box.



I was beyond surprised! The feeling was overwhelming.

Engagement
It's a YES! No doubt about it!
I am more than willing to spend the rest of my life with you.
I LOVE YOU, HONEY <3

Sunday, March 6, 2016

Look up and close your eyes

My son Alexander dislikes taking a bath. He didn't always hate it. I remember a time when he was eight months old and he just started using the baby tub, he'd play with his rubber duckies and he'd enjoy the water. When he turned one, for some reason he started being averse to the water. His yayas had to make a production of sing and dance in the shower to distract him from the water getting into his eyes while they rinse shampoo off his head. This was actually the reason why I also dreaded bathing him the first few days sans yaya.  

In the two and a half months that I'm the one personally giving him a bath, I have tried so many strategies to make him unafraid of water entering his eyes. I tried letting him bow down low but he is still very much afraid that when water starts cascading down his head, he would lift his head and guess what will happen?

Lately I tried telling him to look up and close his eyes. I thought that rinsing his head "salon-style" would be a much better tactic than making him bow down low since it obviously wasn't working. Last night, I went down to his eye-level, looked him the eye and told him, "Trust me, Lex. Look up and close your eyes. Trust me, anak." Guess what? it still didn't work. He still cries out of fright. I am determined to be consistent in telling him to trust me but if it still won't work soon, then I am resigned to just let him outgrow the fright on his own.

And then I realized how symbolic that moment was. Because isn't that how we are also with God? In the midst of our circumstances, God tells us to "look up and close our eyes" but we don't. We try to fight off the burden on our own, not trusting that God can and will do a better way. In the same way, even if God is consistent in telling us to trust in Him, we need our faith to grow in order to really understand what He is telling us. That we need not do anything. Need not worry about anything. But trust in Him. Surrender to Him wholeheartedly.

Recently there has been an article circulating in Facebook about Courageous Catie, a three and a half year old girl diagnosed with JMML, a rare form of leukemia. Even as a parent, I cannot begin to fathom how much grief her parents must be feeling. I can only imagine it to be so immense and overwhelmingly paralyzing. But indeed, as I follow news via their Facebook Page and blog, I can see God moving in every direction. 

Not all parents have the faith Catie's parents have. And I am really amazed, as in really amazed at the amount of faith that is shown by Jayjay and Tine. It is truly inspiring in every way. 

Here's an excerpt of a status that was posted last March 3 in Courageous Catie's Facebook Page:

"Today, I have been flooded by messages that our life story is inspiring and encouraging. That Caitie's story is spreading like wildfire. Honestly, at the back of my mind I didn't want to be. Like any parent, I simply wanted my daughter to be healed. If only all the messages, help and gifts could cure Caitie by the cell. This is all I wanted. I don't want and don't care to be inspiring.

Then tonight, I broke down in tears when I received a letter from someone who has been visiting everyday and giving us letters. Yesterday she shared how she realized from our journey that suffering should not be wasted. And today she shares that she is still waiting for the results of her lump. Even with a financial problem, she still gave to help us.Strangers who come in and cry with us, who go through sickness and emotional pain themselves have learned and continue to learn how to respond and experience a revival in their relationship with Jesus because of Caitie's life.

I cried because I was so selfish. Who am I to stop God from speaking through our pain to a person.

Each person has their own battle to face. Ours may be in sickness but for others, it may be emotional, mental or financial battles. The manner is different but the pain is the same! We are not alone.

We bless others because we ourselves have been blessed. Somewhat a great circle of life.

Another step forward maybe so difficult but it moves us closer to the kind of person we should be."

I wish I never have to live through the pain or worse, a death, of a loved one. But if I ever do, I wish that I can have even an ounce of faith and grace that Catie's parents have shown through this whole ordeal.

Thursday, February 11, 2016

Wait

8 He waited seven days, the time set by Samuel; but Samuel did not come to Gilgal, and Saul’s men began to scatter. 9 So he said, “Bring me the burnt offering and the fellowship offerings.” And Saul offered up the burnt offering. 10 Just as he finished making the offering, Samuel arrived, and Saul went out to greet him. 11 “What have you done?” asked Samuel. Saul replied, “When I saw that the men were scattering, and that you did not come at the set time, and that the Philistines were assembling at Mikmash, 12 I thought, ‘Now the Philistines will come down against me at Gilgal, and I have not sought the LORD’s favor.’ So I felt compelled to offer the burnt offering.” 13 “You have done a foolish thing,” Samuel said. “You have not kept the command the LORD your God gave you; if you had, he would have established your kingdom over Israel for all time. 14 But now your kingdom will not endure; the LORD has sought out a man after his own heart and appointed him ruler of his people, because you have not kept the LORD’s command.”

Or in short, "lack of patience can cause you to miss blessings".

To be honest, patience is a virtue that I sorely lack. Even before when I was still a kid, I already have a penchant for instant gratification in that everything I want, I want it now! now! now! If I am to analyze my ways in the past, I can see how that attitude severely deprived me of what could have been a greater experience if only I had waited. If only.

Today I can see that God is not yet done with me in terms of teaching this value as I still find myself wanting BIG things NOW. As if I can't wait for things to unfold naturally as it should. Somehow He is repeatedly impressing in my heart that I am still subject for more pruning before He can give me that which I wholeheartedly desire. 

Just as how I teach Lex nowadays to "wait his turn", so is God telling me to be patient and still. 

source




I'm waiting, I'm waiting on You Lord
And I am hopeful, I'm waiting on You Lord
Though it is painful, but patiently I will wait

And I will move ahead bold and confident
Taking every step in obedience

While I'm waiting I will serve You
While I'm waiting I will worship
While I'm waiting I will not faint
I'll be running the race even while I wait

I'm waiting, I'm waiting on You Lord

And I am peaceful, I'm waiting on You Lord

Though it's not easy no, but faithfully I will wait
Yes, I will wait

And I will move ahead bold and confident
Taking every step in obedience

While I'm waiting I will serve You
While I'm waiting I will worship
While I'm waiting I will not faint
I'll be running the race even while I wait

I will move ahead bold and confident
I'll be taking every step in obedience, yeah

While I'm waiting I will serve You
While I'm waiting I will worship
While I'm waiting I will not faint

And I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting on You Lord

I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting

Wednesday, January 20, 2016

Psalm 62

3-4
How long will you assault a man? Would you throw him down -- this leaning wall, this tottering fence? They fully intend to topple him from his lofty place; they take delight in lies. With their mouths they bless, but in their hearts they curse. 

10
Do not trust in extortion or take pride in stolen goods; though your riches increase, do not set your heart on them. 

11-12
One thing God has spoken, two things have I heard: that you, O God, are strong, and that you, O Lord, are loving. Surely you will reward each person according to what he has done.

Monday, January 18, 2016

To God be the glory!

Second term of grad school was so hectic! I took three subjects, two major ones and one minor. One of my major subjects, Research Methodology, is the absolute king of work. Super matrabaho siya, as in! Honestly, I was so burnt out last term especially the weeks nearing the final exams because of all the work it entailed. 

BACK STORY

Enrolling in Research was actually a faith goal for me. I was so discouraged to push through with my enrollment in that subject because of the feedback I got from previous students. I remember going to church after our first meeting (when I wasn't yet officially enrolled) praying and asking God if I should enroll. I consulted with my husband when I got home, processed his insights, and prayed some more. After a few days, I feel the Lord telling me to enroll and not to worry because He will sustain me. I still had doubts when I handed in my payment to the cashier but nevertheless, I did it in faith that He would keep His promise.

Oh gosh, the feedback I got from the other students were true. My professor was very meticulous about EVERYTHING! Every area of my research was probed on. Most of the time, I was in the dark with how my research will take form. Begin with the end in mind -- I can't even do that because I can't visualize how my paper will end up. Halfway through doing the last chapter however, I begin to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I figured how helpful the tools my professor provided in aiding us in doing each chapter of the paper. Matrabaho magfill-out ng answer grid BUT (!!!) pag natapos mo yun, parang tapos ka na rin sa isang chapter. That is how thorough and complete the grid is. 

One thing that I really learned last term? PERSEVERANCE. I realized that everything I went through helped me improve as a person. Not just academically ha, as in it really shaped my character as a wife, mother, and student. 

I just got my grades the other day and I have to say that it really proved how surrendering everything to God will bear good fruit. This post is my way of giving all the glory back to God. Without Him, those grades would never have been possible.

I gave my husband my class cards when I got home and in his happiness, he bought me Carmen's Best to celebrate our victory. OUR VICTORY - mine, his, and most especially the Lord's.

Carmen's Best - because the best feeling needs the best ice cream!